Science and Tech

Twitter is trialing disappearing tweets called ‘Fleets’ and bottoms everywhere are making the same joke

Fleets: Twitter announces new feature, and bottoms are having a field day

An enema is isolated on a white background. (Envato/erutskyy)

The internet has rallied around Twitter’s gay intern, who’s been in “I told you so” mode for 24 hours after Twitter trialled ‘Fleets’.

“Fleets” are a potential new feature on Twitter that will allow some tweets to disappear after 24 hours, similar to an Instagram Story.

Fleets is also an enema – or douche, in the UK – brand popular with bottoms.

Announcing Twitter’s new feature on Wednesday morning, product lead Kayvon Beykpour said: “Every day, people come to Twitter to see what’s happening. One of the unique things about Twitter is that ‘what’s happening’ is fuelled by people sharing their thoughts openly, through tweets. But sharing your thoughts publicly can be intimidating!

“People often tell us that they don’t feel comfortable tweeting because tweets can be seen and replied to by anybody, feel permanent and performative (‘how many likes and retweets will this get!?’).

“We’ve been listening to this feedback and working to create new capabilities that address some of the anxieties that hold people back from talking on Twitter. Today, in Brazil only, we’re starting a test (on Android and iOS) for one of those new capabilities. It’s called Fleets.”

Beykpour added: “I know what you’re thinking.” But he was wrong. The internet wasn’t thinking, “THIS SOUNDS A LOT LIKE STORIES!”

“No, what I’m thinking is, ‘That sounds like the leading brand of enemas’, but go off,” said a user named Colin on behalf of Gay Twitter.

Less than 24 hours after Fleets – first due to be rolled out in Brazil – were announced by Twitter, a gay intern working at the company was forced to clarify that, yes, they do know what Fleets are.

“There is a gay intern at Twitter shaking his head and mumbling ‘told them’ under his breath all day today,” one person tweeted.

After multiple people asked if any gay men even work at Twitter, another Twitter employee, Jesse Feinman, revealed that they had tried to warn the company about the name.

“The number of people I mentioned this to and yet it still launched under that name,” they tweeted.

Twitter is yet to publicly acknowledge that it’s named a new product after a popular douche brand, despite warnings from LGBT+ staff.

A release date for Fleets in other countries is yet to be announced.

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